Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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