i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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