you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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