just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
