Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
