I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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