You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
