Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
