drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
