I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
