Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
