come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
