Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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