I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
