You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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