How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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