So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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