i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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