You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
ttyl tear gas
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
