Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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