walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
