dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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