Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
