At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
