bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
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