what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
