That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
thus making me awesome and them whores
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
