If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
