summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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