I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
