Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
