he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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