Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
