i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
