I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
