dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
