zippers are such a cool invention
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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