Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
