careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
