508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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