I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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