I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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