Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
