I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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