If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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