my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
