i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
