I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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