lets start a swedish sibling band together
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
