i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
