Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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