It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
