She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
