he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
