Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
